Bryson is 4 months old (as of yesterday) and finally had his baby blessing today! He has been discovering that he can move and manipulate his hands and now uses them to grab and hold onto toys, push his bottle out of his mouth (even though he still wants to eat...it's annoying :), hold his hands together in front of him, and more recently, he has started eating his hands. He pushes so much of his fist into his mouth, I wonder how he doesn't gag himself! He has rolled over 2 or 3 times now on his own, but isn't doing it consistently yet. He is gaining weight so well! I don't know exactly how much he weighs but it's at least 13 or 14 lbs (I'll find out tomorrow at the dr office), and he is beautifully chubby. I am so pleased by it, because both Riley and Cassidy failed to gain weight and I stressed about it way too much. Bryson is still waking up to eat once in the night, usually around 3 or 4 a.m. I'm looking forward to someday getting a full night of uninterrupted sleep again, but alas, that day has not arrived yet. He eats about every 3 hours, 4 or 5 oz at a time. He is typically super easy to put to sleep for naps or bedtime. All I have to do is turn on the white noise, rock and shush him for a few minutes, and he turns his head towards my body, snuggles up and is gone. Staying asleep is sometimes hard for him though, and I have to give him his binky or get him up from his nap earlier than I want to but all in all, he's pretty easy. He has a happy personality, smiling and laughing frequently. In the last few days he has started sucking on his bottom lip (cute!) and blowing raspberries (so cute!). We set up a crib for him in his own room, across the hall from ours, but he's still sleeping next to my bed because he has a cold and cough right now that I want to keep a close eye on. Knowing that he is my last baby makes me want to slow time down and enjoy him a little longer. I am going to miss having a little baby in my arms :(
Cassidy is so lovable and sweet, we can hardly stand it. She is a giver of hugs and kisses, "thank yous" and "I'm sorrys". In fact, of all our kids, she's the one who can give the most sincere sounding apology. She loves princesses, especially Anna and Elsa, and constantly sings, "Let it go!" at the top of her lungs. Cute things that she says: "Happy to see you", "I luff you", "I luff it!", "Cassie sad/happy", "Cassie pretty"(when she has a dress on or a bow in her hair, etc...) "Tank you, mama" and when she realizes she's going to get something that she wants, she starts giggling and saying "tank you!!" It's precious. She loves playing with phones(she says "sone"...can't pronounce f's yet), and knows how to turn on netflix and You tube, unfortunately. She constantly tries to get her hands on one and cries when we take it away. She adores Bryson, and always wants to play with and touch him-sometimes too roughly. She likes to cover his face with blankets, and sometimes gets on top of him (I really can't leave him alone with her...yikes). She likes to use a kitchen towel as a cape and call herself "supa kid", she loves play dough and stickers, reading stories, taking baths, getting into makeup, wearing her "pack pack" around, getting involved in whatever the big kids are doing, tickle games, chasing games (Mommy, save me!!), pushing Rocky in her stroller, and watching TV. Lately she wants to watch The Three Little Pigs every day, all day. Sometimes she dances/skips around on her toes, and tonight was saying, "Watch me!" to everyone then doing some sort of "trick" like flopping down on the couch cushion, or dancing across the kitchen. She digs french fries, burritos (asks for them everyday at lunch), dr pepper (tries to steal sips of mine constantly), cheese, avocados, popcorn, and "teats" (treats). At bedtime, she MUST have 3 little blankets on top of her regular bedding, Rocky, her "mike-a-sone" (microphone toy that sings "Let it Go"), and a big stack of books to read, as well as her white noise machine and lamp on. She also needs to be read stories to, sung to (she always picks "God" which is I am a Child of God), and we're trying to help her say her prayers. There is no amount of words that I could use to capture the essence of this little girl, and I know I'm forgetting a lot of adorable things that she does, but I have to try and remember what a vibrant, sweet, lovable thing she is right now. I will really miss having her at this age/stage because she can't help but brighten everything around her-even though she is completely two and throws tantrums every time she doesn't get her way. I couldn't love her any more than I do!
Riley is hilarious. He makes me laugh every time I listen to him talk...he makes up words when he doesn't readily know a word for something, and they are always the best words. (ex: something is "grinky" or "curkly" or whatever word he comes up with to describe it). Riley is also really frustrating at this age, because ask him to do the simplest task and it usually won't get done until you have asked him 5 times and then lost your temper and started yelling at him. I don't think he means to be disobedient but for some reason, he can't focus on or remember to do what you need him to. Getting him ready for Kindergarten has been a challenge this year, and I've learned that I need to start WAY in advance of his needing to be there. He wants to eat "lunchables" every day at lunch and completely refuses to eat if you give him something he doesn't want. He frequently does mean seeming things to Cassidy as he is walking past her (bumping her, stepping on her fingers, etc) and cannot explain why he did those things so he is in trouble a lot. He loves to have "special time" with mom or dad and asks for it everyday. His favorite games are Frozen monopoly and Sorry, and he loves to play with his cars and tracks. He wears a pull up at night because even though at one time he was staying dry, lately he is wet every morning :/ He eats the most food at breakfast, progressively getting less hungry for each meal. He is always interested in helping me cook, and has some cute/cool dance moves. He is learning how to read and although not a natural like sienna (who never needed any help at all to learn), he is capable of sounding out words that I don't expect him to know. He is very generous and always lets Sienna have some of his treat.
Sienna is the child that I feel I have the most strained relationship with...and that is not really her fault. I have a lot to learn about effective parenting skills and I'm trying but too often get angry with her and she doesn't respond well to that (who would?). I recently took her to get a hair cut because every morning brushing her hair led to fighting, being mad and tears. She is a great helper, loves to be "in charge" of her siblings (uh-oh...), loves to read, loves to play with friends (Makaylah, Zoie). She loves stuffed animals, art, treats. I think she has a strong desire to connect and have a good relationship with mom and dad, but we are cranky too often, or too tired, or too busy with the baby :( I want to work harder to be positive with her so that she doesn't feel the need to act out or feel like she isn't loved. The mornings are particularly hard, getting her ready for school and out the door. She doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "hurry" and needs to be moved from one task to the next by us, or she will do the same task for WAY too long. She becomes very loving at night when she is going to bed, and makes sure to give both mom and dad a great big hug and kiss, and another hug, then a drink of water, and one last hug before going to bed. For the year 2017, Ryan and I have decided that our theme will be "Be positive" to help us remember not to get down on our kids (especially Sienna and Riley) as much as we have in the past.
I love my little crew of 4 and want to be a better mom for their sakes. I find that listening to Motherhood podcasts and reading parenting books helps me keep my cool, at least on the days that I do those things. My perspective slips if I go too long between. I'm committing myself to do better, one day at a time because I love my little humans.
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