A few years ago a major research project was done by a university. The purpose of the study was to develop operational definitions for pessimists and optimists for use in textbooks, academic papers, and classroom learning.
The scientists, behaviorists, and psychologists involved scoured the globe searching for the most pessimistic and optimistic people they could find. Their key objective was to bring test subjects back to the lab for further study. After a year of looking the team finally narrowed their search down to two 8 year-old boys.
Back at the lab two observation rooms were put together. The first room was filled with every kind of toy imaginable. There were so many toys that it seemed to the researchers that an entire toy store had been emptied for the sake of the study. The second room was filled wall to wall with horse manure. The boys were to each be placed in a room and their behaviors would be observed from behind one way mirrors.
The first little boy stood skeptically in the doorway of the room full of toys not sure if he should enter. But with a little prodding from one of the researchers who said, “Go on in, they are all yours”, he finally walked over to the first toy. What happened next shocked and stunned the researchers. Instead of playing gleefully the little boy systematically opened every single package in the room and rejected each of the toys in turn. The researchers heard him whining: “These aren’t like my toys at home.” “These toys will never work.” “Where are the video games?” “It’s hot in here.” “I don’t have any friends to play with.” The complaining went on and on until soon, exhausted from his own negativity, he sat down in the middle of the room and with a big pout on his face, he angrily shouted, “I’m bored and I want to go home!”
The researchers had been so mesmerized by this display of pessimism and negativity that they had almost forgotten about the second little boy who had been placed in the room full of manure. They quickly shifted their attention to the second room and peering through the observation window, were stopped in their tracks. They had expected to see the little boy sitting on the pile sad and crying. But instead, he was standing on top of the pile, wildly shoveling horse manure. To the amazement of the entire research team, he was animated, excited, alive, and happy. He kept digging and digging and shouting with glee. He was covered with manure from head to toe and he was ecstatic. The researchers looked at one another in awe – the child seemed delirious.
Cautiously, one of the scientists opened the door to the room and tried to get the boy’s attention. However, he was so focused on digging that it took a few minutes to get his attention. Finally, the boy stopped what he was doing, turned around, and faced the scientist. Looking with amazement at the manure covered child, the researcher asked, “Son, what in the world are you doing?” With that question, a huge grin crossed the boy’s face and with the same enthusiasm he had given to digging, he replied, “Sir, with all this manure, I just know there is a pony in here somewhere and I’m going to find him!” With that he turned around and continued digging.
Like I said, silly :) But I know that there are times I resemble the grumpy little boy who can't find anything to be happy about despite being surrounded with blessings! I am convinced that being happy and grateful is a choice that each person has to make, regardless of their circumstances. This Thanksgiving season, I am going to find things each day to be grateful for.
1. Sienna just told Riley, "You're my little fella." and "Careful, Bubsy". I love watching their relationship grow and it fills a Moms heart with happiness to watch them play together.
2. I'm grateful for parenting books (right now, The Child Whisperer specifically) and blogs that give me ideas and insights into parenting my own kids. I love S and R like crazy but I'm just NOT creative or idea-ful. Luckily for me, I don't have to be those things if I'm getting ideas from other sources.
3. I'm grateful for experiences in my life that have strengthened my testimony and taught me that the Lord really cared about my personal frustrations and worries (when I almost lost my wedding ring after it was thrown in the outside trash can the night before garbage day, or when stubborn Riley FINALLY took a bottle-with no fuss at all-on the day that I was told I could no longer nurse him because of a medication I had started) I know that I can turn to him and he will be there.
4. We moved to West Jordan in July and didn't know anyone. I'm grateful for my neighbors who have been very friendly. Some have brought us treats and some have set up play dates with us. I'm especially grateful for this because I have a hard time getting to know new people.
5. I'm grateful for my parents who are always willing to babysit our kids so we can go on a date or to the temple. For people who can't afford a babysitter this is a great favor!
6. I'm grateful for random acts of kindness. Just this week we got a surprise package in the mail from a relative. It was a book about a subject that I had shown interest in on facebook. (Thanks Kevin!) Another person anonymously gave my family some money awhile back after I posted on facebook about our student loan debt. (Thank you, anonymous!) A few years ago a sister bought a Christmas tree and had it mailed to my family. I have another sister who has given me makeup and clothes just because she's generous. There are so many examples of people's kindness and it's inspiring to me!
7. Especially since it's gotten cold this week, I'm grateful to have a warm place to live. I think about the pioneers who didn't have this and had to walk across the country, some without shoes, during the winter and I just can't imagine the misery they experienced. I have a warm home, a cozy bed, warm water for showers, blankets and sweaters galore, hot chocolate mix at my fingertips. I am very grateful for these things at this time of year!
8. Riley sometimes grabs my face with both hands and then pulls me in for a kiss. Or sometimes he says, "Mom, give me a kiss!" I love that!
9. I'm grateful for healthy kids. Yes, we have been worried about Riley's failure to gain weight and being small, but for the most part, our kids are healthy and that is something that cannot be taken for granted.
10. I'm grateful that Riley is still here with us. He's given us a few scares recently including wandering away from us and roaming the neighborhood (a pedophile's dream!) and running out into a busy street and nearly getting hit by a car. I was shaky after each of those experiences and felt SO grateful for the outcomes. I don't even like to think about what could have happened.
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